Their questioning, and demand that we answer, itself comes from a place of entitlement and a feeling of superiority. No different than the white women who sees a Black person and asks what are they doing, then gets upset and phones the police when they receive a less than polite response. Just because you ask politely does not change the fact that you had no right to ask and even less right to expect an answer.
What you’ve identified is called “whitesplaining”: essentially, explaining white people to white people. I used to do it because I really believed that most white people were “not racist” in the classic sense of the word, but were “subconsciously racist” simply by virtue of functioning within a racist culture, a racist society.
But I quit doing that some time ago. White people are not dumb. They are keenly aware of what they have done to this world and why. Jane Elliot, the woman who conducts the “Blue Eye/Brown Eye” experiments with children years ago, does something else now when she speaks to white audiences:
She asks them how many believe themselves to be nonracist. Everybody raises their hand.
How man believe that America treats blacks fairly? Everybody raises their hands again.
Okay….If that’s true, then, how many of you would trade places with a black person? Jane asks finally. Nobody raises his/her hand. Why not? Cause they know the truth: that whites still treat blacks like lesser beings, and probably always will.
That’s why I don’t waste my time anymore trying to “educate” or “whitesplain” anything to white people.