Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse & Donald Duck Accuse Tourists of Sexual Harassment

Has the Magic disappeared from the Magic Kingdom?

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Now comes shocking news that all is not well in the Magic Kingdom.

It seems that some of the visitors to The Kingdom can’t keep their hands to themselves. And, it’s upset the natives:

Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck, all Kingdom natives of Orlando’s famed Disney World, have each filed police reports accusing tourists of inappropriate touching, including, yes, what amounts to sexual harassment.

Indeed, the woman who sports the “Mickey Mouse” costume and plays the popular fictional rodent was actually hospitalized with neck injuries caused by an apparently over zealous and doting grandmother who persisted in excessively patting the giant mouse’s furry head.

The Orlando Sentinel reported that the 36-year-old woman (Mickey Mouse), who is by far the star attraction at the Magic Kingdom, told investigators that an elderly woman patted her on the top of her (Mickey’s) head five times and so hard that the huge head slid down upon her (Mickey’s) shoulders and strained her and the mouse’s neck.

Mickey (through the actress) told investigators that she (he) did not believe the old woman meant to hurt her. And, thus, the sheriff’s office decided that this was a matter more suitable for resolution in civil rather than criminal court, and did not pursue the case — or the grandmother — any further.

Grandma’s family, however, said that they did not know that Mickey (the actress) had been hospitalized until Sentinel reporters told them.

The appropriately named Boone Scheer said that his mother-in-law patted Mickey’s head to prove to her nearly 2-year-old very frightened grandson that there was no need to fear the giant rat….er…mouse.

“She barely touched him,” said Boone. “It was very minimal.”

Boone also explained that the family did not know whether Disney had a “no-touching” policy. Why would they have such a policy, he wanted to know, since Mickey, Minnie, Donald and the whole gang of other cartoon characters freely and frequently gave high-fives and hugs to all comers — often without asking permission first.

According to Orange County Sheriff’s reports, however, it was Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck who made the more serious charges of having been groped in an…ahem…sexually inappropriate manner by certain tourists.

Coincidentally, on the very same day as the Mickey Maneuver, the also 36-year-old woman who portrays Minnie Mouse posed for pictures with a married Minnesota couple. As Minnie hugged the husband-tourist, he vigorously groped and fondled her breasts, not once, but three times. That is according to the sheriff’s incident report.

Minnie complained to her supervisors and identified the 61-year-old geezer from Brewster, Minnesota. However, like Mickey, Minnie too refused to press charges.

Perhaps she should have filed charges, though.

It turns out that this man who copped several feels of her mammary glands was well known to the Disney World organization. Indeed, he had also been involved in a similar “inappropriate interaction with a cast member” just a few weeks earlier on December 5 at the Magic Kingdom. That incident report, unfortunately, provided no further details. but Disney did actually ban the man — a Disney Vacation Club member — from all of the theme parks. “As a result, he was trespassed from all of Walt Disney World property, to exclude the Saratoga Springs resort,” the sheriff’s report said.

Sheriff’s deputies responded to a call about an unruly guest who was also mistreating the Donald Duck character at the Animal Kingdom restaurant.

According to the incident report, a woman in her 60s had asked if she could kiss Donald Duck.

Donald agree to the kiss, but later said that the “situation” quickly got out of hand as the woman began ruffling his feathers by “inappropriately touching” and grabbing his arms, chest, groin area, and face.

Donald hurriedly walked/fled toward another nearby Disney employee for help. (The report does not indicate which of the Magic Kingdom characters this may have been —I’m guessing Goofy, perhaps?).

But, still the woman followed her, grabbing onto and holding her feathered arms; and then “frantically,” forcibly, placing her hands inside the character’s costume, touching, rubbing, fondling her chest, the incident report said. (Donald was being portrayed by yet another female “actress”).

The woman’s family began yelling at her to cease and desist, and an attendant guided Donald (the woman) to the break room, presumably to take a break?

Donald Duck (the woman) also later decided not to press charges. Donald (the woman playing the duck) told the cops that he (Donald, the actual duck) believed the old woman may have been suffering from dementia, and neither the woman playing Donald Duck nor Donald Duck himself wished to cause any more trouble for an obviously already very troubled little old lady.

These are just the latest incidents of what appears to be an ongoing theme at the famous theme park.

For example, in November, a 51-year-old man was actually arrested for allegedly fondling a Disney Princess’ breasts as he posed for a picture with her.

And what has been Disney’s response to these recurring incidents?

Everyone should feel safe at work, and we encourage Cast Members to come forward in any uncomfortable situation, said the appropriately named Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger in a statement. We provide multiple resources to protect our Cast Members’ well-being, including on-site law enforcement officers who respond, and are available to them, if needed.

Well…they are obviously “needed.”

It seems, then, that the MoJo really has disapated from the Magic Kingdom. May I suggest that the Kingdom try a different, but guaranteed, security force? Say Popeye the Sailor Man, his nemesis Bluto…and, of course, Popeye’s girlfriend Olive Oil?

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Freelancer since the earth first began cooling. My beat, justice: racial, social, political, economic and cultural. I’m on FB, Twitter, Link, hdyerjr@gmail.com.

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